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narok Guild-Master
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1886 Location: England
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 6:04 pm Post subject: accident reports |
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Accident Reports
Accident insurance claim forms ask for a brief statement about how the accident happened. The combination of the finger pointing instinct and the small spaces provided on the forms can lead to some curiously phrased explanations.
Car Accidents:
* "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
* "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
* "I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."
* "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
* "I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it."
* "No one was to blame for the accident, but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert."
* "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
* "I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."
* "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
* "I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end, and there was a crash."
* "I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place where it had been struck several times before."
* "The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
* "The accident happened when the right door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal."
* "I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
* "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprung up, obscuring my vision."
* "I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
* "I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
* "I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."
* "My wench slipped, losing my balance, and I hurt my back."
* "I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."
* "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
* "The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."
* "When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."
* "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
* "In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
* "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
* "As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."
* "The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end."
* "A truck backed though my windshield and into my wife's face."
* "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."
* "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
* "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished." _________________ feed me a fruit! |
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DrussTheLegend Lazy ShitHead
Joined: 05 Jun 2009 Posts: 1712 Location: Ireland
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 8:27 pm Post subject: |
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* "I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
Who were performing CPR on the person. |
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nicolas Loyal Poster
Joined: 19 Jun 2008 Posts: 1281 Location: argentina
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 12:12 am Post subject: |
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ah i cant remember the movie where they say smthing like
"i didnt stab him, he bumped into my knife repeatedly" _________________ priest_vallon 12x |
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Seridor Loyal Poster
Joined: 03 May 2008 Posts: 433 Location: Canada
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 1:10 am Post subject: |
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The best two are:
"A truck backed though my windshield and into my wife's face."
and
"I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows." _________________ Southern_Cross 22X Lancer
Detection 9X Thief
Server Status:Online
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narok Guild-Master
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1886 Location: England
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 8:08 am Post subject: |
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this is my favourite
* "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him." _________________ feed me a fruit! |
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mystify Loyal Poster
Joined: 22 May 2010 Posts: 107
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."
..yup.....i would too. _________________ mystify.....
monk.....
lurking ...o.O |
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HolyAngel Loyal Poster
Joined: 31 Aug 2008 Posts: 208 Location: Netherlands
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Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 11:19 am Post subject: |
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In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
EPIC xD _________________ Tranquillity: 24x
Mysterys of sound and light yet wisdon will shine through one shall stand tall and fight to rule with fist and all
R.I.P. DoA |
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